I will...

Last week, I blogged about knowing what I really want to do; I have been reflecting further on that, and in particular, on how to translate intention into action.

I have blogged about this before: in this post, I describe eight things one can do to deliver on good resolutions (for the detail, follow the link to the post).

But do these things work?  In reflecting on that question, I was pleased to come up on this post, from 2014.  In it, I was resolving to make time to meditate every day.  I am pleased (and even proud) to be able to say that meditation has been part of my daily routine, almost without fail, ever since. And I achieved that by using most of the eight strategies listed.

My point here is not to boast (or at least, not much) but rather to illustrate how adopting new habits is really possible, even when (on a day by day basis) one does not 'want' to do them.

Stephen Covey makes the point (in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People) that being confident that you will keep a promise that you make to yourself is a very valuable attribute. After all, how can you expect others to trust you, if you are not able to trust yourself.

So being able to say 'I will...' to yourself, and know that you can deliver on that 'will' is a great skill to cultivate; and as I have remarked before, relying  on a naive idea of will power may not serve you well. You build your will power, as with any virtue, by repeated practice; and the ideas above should help you to do so. 

What do I want to do?

I was challenged lately by the question: How do I know what I want to do?  If I really wanted to do {X}, I'd be doing it by now! So maybe I don't really want to, I just think or pretend that I want to?...

I thought this an interesting question, because it resonated with a lot of my own experience.  If I decide and intend to do something and then don't do it, what precisely is that about?

Of course, it's an age old problem: St Paul writes about it 2000 years ago: For the good that I would, I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.

But I think it too simple to conclude, as my challenger was tempted to do, that a failure to follow through on an intention indicates that I didn't really want to do it.  I think that compresses and conflates a lot of things.

One example, from my experience, is getting out of bed at 6.30 on a cold, wet morning to go for a run. There was a time when, despite my intention to run every day, I would actually re-set the alarm and have another hour in bed.  Now, I don't.

But to say that I no longer want to do that is inaccurate: quite often it is a very appealing prospect: at that moment in time, I think it would be true to say that I want (at least in part) to stay in bed. So what has changed?

One way to look at this is to think about short and long term desires; there have been studies (eg Duckworth and Seligman) suggesting the ability to delay gratification is a strong predictor of success. Thus I prioritise my longer term desire to stay fit and healthy over my short term desire to stay warm and comfortable.


But my formulation is somewhat different. I like to think of it in terms not of what I want to do (which seems to me always to risk the short term or expedient answer, in the heat of battle - or indeed the warmth of bed) but rather, who do I want to be (or become).

By framing it that way, I can acknowledge that what I want to do may be to stay warm and comfortable; but the person I want to become is someone who not only stays fit and healthy, but also has mastery over his short term desires, and can honour commitments that he makes to himself (such as going for a run every morning).

For me, that has real power, as my fundamental philosophy means that I think it is frequently important to prioritise being over doing. To put that another way, I would prefer that what I do is driven by who I aspire to be; rather than who I become being driven by the actions I take (in pursuit of short term desires).

About Those New Year Resolutions...

Happy New Year to all my friends, clients, colleagues, and indeed any other readers.

It being January, I thought it might be good to share some reflections on turning New Year Resolutions into reality. As is my wont, I will throw out a few ideas: keep the ones that you deem valuable and discard the rest. So here are eight things to try.

1: Check that you really mean it. I call this the Viktor Frankl question: how does this resolution sit with your fundamental understanding of the meaning of your life?  If it doesn't, then why is it a resolution? If it does, that immediately gives it more importance; and reminding yourself of this may give it more traction. (Memo to self: blog about Viktor Frankl: I have mentioned him in passing a few times, but he is worthy of a proper post).

2: Write a Context Goal. A Context Goal is written like this. First, you write what it is you want to accomplish (and express this in positive, not negative language - eg to be free of nicotine addiction, rather than to stop smoking). Then write down all the reasons that this is a good idea. Be as creative as you can here: you are looking to generate a long list. So as well as the health benefits (for example) of being free of nicotine addiction, you might list the social benefits, the good example you wish to set to younger people, the fact that you want to prove to yourself that you can conquer this addiction, the monetary savings, and so on and so on.  The idea is to make the goal so self-evidently worthwhile that even in your most recalcitrant state, you can only see it as a good and worthwhile thing to do.

3: Consider occasions on which you have successfully achieved something similar. We are often prone to assume that we can't change (particularly if we have failed at this particular resolution in the past). Therefore it is important to recall that we can in fact change, and that we have plenty of evidence to support that belief. Re-writing our story about this may be an important support for such desired change (my forthcoming book refers...)

4: Consider what structures you can put in place to support the resolution. I have posted before on questions about will power (here for example) and the importance of environmental cues in stimulating our behaviour. So a simple thing to do might be to put your list of context goals by your alarm clock or phone, so that it is the first thing you see every day. You will have to devise other environmental cues for yourself...

5: Recruit an 'external conscience.' Most of us find it much easier to honour the commitments we make to others than those we make only to ourselves. So if your resolution is to run or go to the gym, you will be far more likely to do so if you agree to meet someone to run or train with you. If it is to free yourself of an addiction, consider who would be good to hold you to account on a regular basis, and recruit them to the project, explaining precisely what you need of them.

6: Consider the use of an affirmation to strengthen your resolve and your belief in you ability to deliver it.

7: Keep a learning diary: every day record your progress (or lack thereof) and consider what you need to do next to stay on course or get back on the tracks (as appropriate).

8: Celebrate progress and success. Set yourself milestones and rewards, to keep you motivated, ensure you recognise progress, and reward yourself (and others, where possible!)

A Reflective Post

It has been a long and eventful summer break: Annie, my eldest daughter got married, which was a magnificent occasion, full of grace and happiness. 

Mike failed to get the AL grades for the one and only University course he had applied for, which has prompted some real soul-searching and a fairly radical change of direction. He has now decided that graphic design is where his heart and future lie, so is having a gap year preparing a portfolio, and applying afresh.

We had a great family holiday in Wales, camping on the Llyn peninsula, which was stunningly beautiful and very relaxing. 

And now I return to the busy world of work.

But one of the things that has really struck me is what I find most difficult of all to do. Whether in the hubbub of work, the relaxation of holidays, the emotional rollercoasters of weddings and AL results, or indeed at any other time. And that is to stop.

I have read - and indeed taught - the many benefits of making a short time for meditation a part of one's daily routine. I believe this, and I know that when I practice it, the benefits are tremendous; particularly when I sustain it for a period of time.

One of the best summaries of the research on this is by Margaret Chesney: it's a long video (a full lecture's worth) but I think it repays watching.

As I say, I am convinced. Nonetheless, I find myself, most days, resisting the idea; distracting myself either with essential work that 'must be done first' or essential trivia...  And so on. I also know from many coaching conversations with others that many other people have the same experience.

So building on my reflections about Will Power and environmental cues, (here and here) I am working to create an environment which supports me in maintaining this discipline: part of that is making a public declaration of intent.  So next time you bump into me, feel free to ask if I am sticking to my resolution about making time to meditate each day!

Will Power and Time Management

I have been thinking further about Will Power and Time Management: not least because I have finally completed the first draft of my long-awaited (and long-overdue) book, but also because I was working with a bunch of Post Graduate Doctoral Students yesterday, discussing these issues.

Let us, for the sake of argument, accept that will power may be necessary but not sufficient as a driver of our behaviour, and that environmental factors and habit count for a great deal (as suggested here).  The question that arises is, how do we set up the environmental nudges that help us to act on our chosen intentions.

One very practical example of this arose yesterday: one of the students said that he was very good at planning; he know each day what he intended to do that day, and so forth. But what continually sabotaged him was a failure to get out of bed at the right  time in the morning.

The will power approach - just do it! - didn't seem to be helpful.  But when we look at the environmental factors, we can come up with a range of other strategies.  The simplest is the old trick of moving the alarm clock to the other side of the room, so that it cannot be turned off without his leaving the bed.

The beauty of that is that it can be done at a time when the intention to get up on time is strong: it would then require a definite decision, the night before, to change that.  In the morning, when the alarm goes off, however much he may want to stay in bed, the damn thing will keep sounding until he gets up and turns it off.

It is a simple and elegant thing to try, and was arrived at by asking the question about altering the environmental cues, rather than increasing will power.  My hunch (and indeed personal experience) is that if that is sustained for a period of time, a habit is formed of getting up when the alarm goes off, and quite possibly will power is strengthened too.

So my time management tip for the day, is don't try to work directly on will power: instead, ask the question about how you can set up environmental cues that will nudge you in the direction of the decision you wish to take at the moment you will be facing that decision.

Is Will Power Over-rated?

Driving between meetings on Tuesday (I think it was) I heard an episode of The Human Zoo.  It was discussing will power, and the thesis was that typically we overestimate the autonomy of our choices, and underestimate the influence of environmental factors.

I found this interesting, as a lot of my work is, effectively, about helping people make changes and choices.  

Michael Blastland set out to explore what the evidence is for will power.  Timandra Harkness (right) brought an electric shock machine (not the machine shown in the picture, I assume) into the studio to test Blastland's will power, and psychologist Nick Chater was on hand to offer his perspective. In fact, that demonstration was poorly explained and did not shed much light.



The following fruit/chocolate choice was more interesting.  The hypothesis is that we are more able to exercise will power when our mind is not too busy with other things: conversely when we are busy with many competing priorities, we are less able to exercise will power (or at least as they defined it: choosing the 'good' choice, an apple, over the 'tempting' choice, a chocolate).

This struck me as more interesting: I have observed that when people are under stress, their decision-making becomes less reflective and their accounts of reality become more simplistic: thin stories.  That led to an interesting question in my mind, which was not explored in the programme, about the difference between 'wilful' and 'strong willed.'

Chater also says that if you are exerting a lot of will power in one area of your life (eg a severe dieting regime) then other areas of your life tend to become slacker: as though there is only a certain amount of will-power to go around.  

That raised a further question for me, which was not addressed, about the longitudinal effect, rather than the simultaneous one.  Intuitively, I think that if one exercises will power in one area of one's life (say dieting) over a period of time, one is then better able (subsequently) to exercise it in another. But that was not explored. Certainly in my experience, people whose story about themselves is that they have no will power seem to find it hard to exercise will power: a self-fulfilling prophecy. So I would like to know if the evidence supports that (and the corollary) or not.

What Chater was arguing, quite strongly, was that there is no evidence that some people are endowed with more will power than others, and that the differences lie in the circumstances or conditions within which people are operating.  

Whilst I think that he neglected to consider (or at least to discuss) the power of habit (and in the deliberate cultivation of good habits which was the traditional way in which people strove to cultivate virtue), he did make the important point that harnessing the power of context in a positive way is a very effective strategy. That is, it is very valuable to create an environment that nudges you in the direction of the decisions you wish to take.

A couple of people from the Design Council were consulted on how to nudge people into good behaviour; and they cited an example of some work done in A&E departments to reduce aggressive behaviour towards nurses and other staff. This was principally done by putting into the environment (in which most people are likely to be very stressed) clear communications about what to expect, what the process is, and so on; so that the environment itself is perceived as less incomprehensible (and therefore less hostile).  This has been demonstrated to be far more effective than posters exhorting people: 'Don't hit the staff!'




That, of course, relates to the research suggesting that 'No Smoking' posters have the opposite effect to their intended one.

So a key skill becomes manipulating your environment to support the choices you want to make.  At the simplest level, this is obvious: if you want to control your food intake, it is more effective to make sure there are no biscuits and cakes in the cupboard, than to put a post-it on the cupboard saying 'Don't eat the biscuits!'

Some of the things my coaching clients do, which work for them, include turning off the email reminder system when they want to focus on an important piece of work, clearing their desk the night before and leaving the one critical document on it for their attention in the morning, having a picture related to their goals as a screen saver on their pc and so on. 

Incidentally, some of the other effective strategies include telling others of your goals, breaking them into small steps and imagining them in detail, keeping records of your progress, rewarding yourself, and practicing self-affirmation.  Again, all of these may require a degree of will power (and manipulation of the environment to support that) to execute: at least until they become habitual.

 But of course, these are all willed actions to support exercising will power: so I am not convinced the case against will power is as strong as it is made out to be.